So I did terrible in predicting the whole season, I said the Lakers & Spurs would be bad and that the Mavs & Nuggets would be good (cocaine is a helluva drug etc.,) but I did predict the Bobkittens being awful but so did Abraham Lincoln so that’s not something to be proud of. Anyways here we goooo…
#1 Chicago Bulls vs #8 Syracuse Nationals
So the Bulls are in a weird situation where they are the number one seed, and a lot of basketball fans are expecting them to not make it out of the second round. People are underrating the #1 overall seed and I find it somewhat insane. The main reason is due to Rose’s erratic play when he comes in the game. But I think the reigning MVP will get it together. The 6ers on the otherhand started out the season looking fierce, poised to win their division & everyone was talking about how great their bench was….welp the second half of the season came and they sunk & stunk.
What I want to happen: Sweep, get this over with ASAP.
What I think will happen: 76ers win one game at home, Bulls wrap it up at The UC.
#2 Miami Floridians vs #7 New York Knickerbockers
Not much needs to be said about this series that isn’t going to be said between now and tomorrow afternoon with all the hype this one is going to get. The star power here is immaculate, Dwyane “Mr.Glass” Wade, “Not Yet a King” James, STAT, Melo & the biggest star of all….Steve Novakocaine. This series will have the highest ratings because every game will be ABC/ESPN/TNT. I expect this to be entertaining no matter the result.
What I want to happen: I would cry from laughter if the Knicks somehow pulled this upset off no matter how many games it takes them.
What I think will happen: Heat give up an embarrassing one at home, that’s it.
#3 Indy Pacers vs #6 Orlando 3 Pointers
The only reason I’m interested in this series is because two of my favorite players in the league are on the Pacers. Big Roy Hibbert & Psycho T Tyler Hansborough (pictured). Magic are nothing but a 48 minute long 3 point practice drill without Indecisive Dwight.
What I want to happen: Pacers sweep and get this dog over with, as quickly as inhumanly possibly.
What I think will happen: Lots of people giving the Magic one game, but naw Pacers will sweep (if any god exists this WILL happen).
#4 Boston Celtics vs #5 Atlanta Hawks
So because of the silly “Division winners must have home court advantage” rule, Boston @ .591 gets the four over the Hawks @ .606. Any other matchup this might be a big deal but naw not for this one. You ever seen a typical Hawks game? ECHOOOO ECHO ECHO. There will be tons of bandwagon C’s fans down in ATL so I assume the greenmen will have homecourt for all 7 or how many games this series goes anyway. Hopefully KG starts some shit to make this series somewhat interesting. We all know about the bad blood between him & Jeff Teague (KG: “Who?”), so let’s hope that shitpot gets stirred.
What I want to happen: Lots of violence. 6 Games. Rondo gets 3 triple doubles. C’s win.
What will happen: Probably will only go 5 games as the Celtics will look to make a statement to teams that they ain’t dead quite yet.
#2 Seattle Supersonics vs #7 Defending Champs Dallas Mavericks
These two teams turned out a couple of extremely entertaining games this season, last minute buzzer beaters by Vinsanity & KD in the same game?! I really hope the Mavs can compete to make this enjoyable for my viewing pleasure but I think the championship hangover gets to them early. As long as Harden ain’t too damaged, Thunder should be fine
What I want to happen: I just want entertainment honestly, Dirk to hit his ugly shots, Westbrook not to brick 40 shots and Perkins not to get too sad when Delonte front-flip dunks on him.
What will happen: I think Mavs have an incredibly good shooting night combined with a bad performance from both KD & R Dub to win one game. Thunder 4-1.
#3 Minneapolis Lakers vs #6 Denver Thuggets
In years past I have hated the Lakers, but this year not so much and I’ll get to that reason next series. This year I have turned over a new leaf and I actually enjoyed watching Los Lakers especially during the few weeks of Masked Mamba Mania, that was fun stuff. These teams put on one good game already that was decided by Gallinari forgetting the proper way to lay a ball up.The LAkers will indeed miss the toughness of Metta World Peace in this series because while the Nuggets may be lacking in a lot of departments, toughness is something they posses.
What I want to happen: I will never like the Lakers, I’d love to see the Nuggets go nuts here and have highlight dunk after highlight dunk from the Manimal. The chaos a sweep by Denver would cause would bring joy to my heart.
What will happen: I think Denver wins games 3&4 at home but that only lights a fire under the Mamba’s ass and Lakers win the rest. LA en seis.
#4 Memphis Tams vs #5 Buffalo Braves
Now THIS series is gonna be THEE one to watch. It will be physical and have tons of unnecessary fouls. Kobe gave advice to Blake Griffin to go out there and fuck somebody up to establish dominance. Hope he follows through. Now here’s my reasoning for not hating the Lakers as much this year…THE CLIPPERS. At the beginning of the season I thought there we gonna be a great watch, and they were. But after awhile I realized that Lob City was inaccurate name for them and that Flop City made more sense, CP3 and BG32 bitch about being fouled almost more than other duo in the whole league (Lebron & Glass Case Wade hold that honor), it’s the NBA, contact is made but you make millions of dollars a year for dribbling a ball while millions of people world wide shit in holes in the ground, grow a pair. I hope The Grizz shut these pretenders DOWN, Tony Allen is silently one of the best defenders in the game and he will help with that. All the matchups favor the Bears except PG. Also I hope the ugly throwbacks are worn, I am a complete sucker for ugly jerseys.
What I want to happen: Grizzlies to use the brooms! Embarrass flop city!
What will happen: A very physical series that the Grizzlies will win in 6 or 7.
#1 Dallas Chaparrals vs #8 New Orleans Jazz
Saved this one for last because the Jazz are my favorite team. This team took 3 years off of my life this season. They went through a stretch where they looked poised to be at the very least a #4 seed then immediately after that looked like a favorite to win the lottery. The Jazz play a tough grind it out game that is very similar to the grizzlies style. And while I try to remain positive, the Spurs are a huge black and white steamroller looking to smush anything in their way. All of their starters are healthy and that scares me. While lots of people are making comparisons of last year’s Grizzlies to this year’s Jazz…I don’t see it happening. Spurs are ready to win that fifth championship, they only lost I think 3 games when everyone was at full strength.
What I want to happen: I want my Salt Lake Saints to win by any means necessary. Don’t care how many games it takes.
What will happen: Spurs sweep, maybe let my boys sneak a win at Mormon Energy Arena.